Michael Emodogan Must Die!
by xxxMadara
Summary: What happens when a teenage boy cheats on 3 different girls in order to get another girl back? Find out.


Michael Emodogan Must Die

A true story based on my Imagination

By Neji Hyuga

Inspired by Michael Emodogan and the movie John Tucker Must Die

Chapter one: The Girl of my Dreams

I flicked the switch of my computer on while running my fingers through my hair. It's important to look good in front of the computer, just in case a hot girl was watching you from her house, or from some random online cafe, you may never know. While the screen was loading, I checked my reflection on the computer screen. "Hey, good lookin'."

I went to my User Account on SPPF and typed in Umagon, my username. I typed in my password and clicked 'remember me' and pressed the login button as well. After all of that, I went to the clubs forum and went to the The Official Zatch Bell! Fanclub to see what my friends had posted. Zatch Bell! is one of my favorite animes, althoguh 100 of the rest of my family inquires it as 'gay', I never really cared what they thought anyway...

I wanted a girlfriend. Badly. My friends were calling me emo because I was still a 15-year-old-Virgin. So was my family. ;P

I read a post by Zeon. She said something about raping him. That girl needs a DAMN GOOD amount of therapy one day. XP I read a post from Wulf, posting a picture of her and her sister. I checked out the girls, but they just weren't cutting it for me...T.T

I read a post from Poochyena. Nothing special, except that babe needs to post a pic of herself on day.

I read the next post.

"WTF." I saw the hottest chick in that photo...she was SO Polish...or maybe a bit of Norweigan. Dunno, all I care about is making her mine...and nobody elses, of course. A perverted grin fell on my face as I read her name... her name said 'Kuitsuku', so I PMed her for her number.

"Uh...485-9687." (note, not her real number. XD) was her reply. I gave her call and put on my sexiest pimp voice. "Damn baby...you're fine."

"OMGOMGOMGOMGOAJGIJGIAJFOJJFSFJSF. YOU'RE FINE TOO. XD I LOVE YOU KID, MY SEXY ASS RABBIT."

I hung up, inwardly smiling as I looked in towards the heavens. "OMFG."

One of my brothers came into the room just then. My brothers can get so annoying sometimes, so...I just stared at him. He glared at me back. "What...the fuck..."

He tackled me and started rubbing my head. "...WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING, MICHAEL? HUH? 8D"

"What?" I replied, not really caring. I've been through worse, like...MISSING MY FAVORITE EPISODE OF SEINFELD! NOOOO. I lowered my eyes in shame. It WAS my fault for not checking the TV guide, yet again, one of my little brothers DID hide it...T.T

"Uh...who were you talking to? WHO CALLED YOU A SEXY ASS RABBIT? ;o"

"No one."

"One of your internet friends?"

"No..." I said. As long as he doesn't know it was Dara, I'll be fine.

"Was it Dara?"

"...DAMMIT"

"Mike?"

"It was mom." I grabbed his hand and walked outside. As soon as I reached outside, I dragged him to the car and made him drive me to Hot Topic for a FMA T-shirt.

(Dara's pov)

I changed my sig until everything in it was about Mike. I saw a pic of him and he is FINE.

Speaking of FINE, tonight is an ALL-NEW EPISODE OF dadadadaaaaaa ZATCH BELL!. XD It's an episode...with Shion in it. Mike loves Shion, for some reason. Can't imagine why.

**'Maybe it's the rack!' Kiyo smirked and yelled while doing the cancan (cancan music)**

"MIKE'S IN LOVE WITH ME." I yelled at my inner boyfriend as I tried to rid the image of him in a red dress out of my head...despite the fact it was very hot. I need to focus on Mike now anyways.

**"LOOK, YOU JUST MET THE GUY...THINK OF HOW LONG YOU'VE BEEN WITH ME." Kiyo said, lifting his dress and kicking the air continuously.**

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "You're an animated sex lord whom I cannot fuck, unless you come out of my TV, like in The Ring 2."

**"One can only dream." said Kiyo, cancan-ing away from my mind. To France, where te cancan is appreciated more. XP**

I twirled my hair and spun on my spinny chair for a few minutes. After that, I decided to call Mike again.

"MIKE, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU, WE HAVEN'T TALKED IN AGES."

"...I talked to you this morning."

"Still...I'm going to Massachussets to see YOU perform."

"But I'm not in a theater produ-" he said, but I cut him off by hanging up. I had to pack my stuff in order to get to Massachusetts, otherwise I'll miss my Kiyo stuff. I dragged an open suitcase on my bed and started packing my Zatch Bell! stuff, 100 of all of them with Kiyo in it. I made a list to keep track of what I pack(yes, a list. Mwahaha.)

"Zatch Bell! action figures, DVDs, pictures, cards, binders, plushies, movies, computer games, PSP games, banners, buttons, hats, shirts, coffee mugs, condoms, and OF COURSE..."

"MY ZATCH BELL! LAPTOP, SO I CAN CHAT WITH MIKE EVEN IF HE'S RIGHT NEXT TO ME!"

BIt's just a laptop with a sticker on it." Kiyo said, his eyes slanted./B

I ignored him and closed my Zatch Bell! suitcase. I told my mom it was a school trip, so she drove me to the airport and checked my flight in.

"See you soon, honey." she said as she left the airport. I waved bye as I looked to see when my flight starts on the screen thingy. It said 4:05, so I went to my gate and waited for the guy to say that the flight was going to start.

---------

"WELL, I'M HERE IN MASSACHUSSETS" I said, looking for Mike. I saw him and I waved for him to get my luggage. "OH, MIIIIIIIKE"

"Hey Dara" he said, eying me up and down. I gave him a kiss(on the cheek) and waited for him to drive me home.

"...so?"

" So what?"

"WHERE'S YOUR CAR?"

"What car?"

"The one you told me about on MSN...you said you drove a black '94 ferrari with the hotrod flames and a picture of me lying down on a bikini and you behind me shirtless with biceps, a cross necklace, longer hair, and a beard on the front hood. You also said that you had a bumper sticker that said 'HOT SEX' on it, along with a pic of Kiyo...and that it vibrates when you turn it on. Oo"

Mike froze, then nervously itched the back of his head. "Oh...hehhehheh...uh, did I really say that?"

I whistled for a taxi, to drive us to Mike's house. "Alright, but you're paying." I said, giving in. At least we'll be able to watch Zatch Bell! together. After the drive, Mike led me into his house and showed me his room.

"This is my room."

"...WTH."

"What?"

"You said on MSN that you lived in a palace in Newton, and that your room was the sixe of an iMax cinema."

Mike froze again. "Seriously?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You also said that you're part of the Royal Family and that you rule the top half of London."

"LOOK AT THE TIME, DARA. IT'S TIME FOR ZATCH BELL!" he said, changing the subject immediately. He turned on the TV(which didn't look like a flatscreen mega-image manipulator 3000. More like one of those small, low-colored TVs, like the one my grandpa had in his kitchen.)

"YAY...shoudln't we take your private jet to Japan and watch it there?"

"...what?"

"On MSN, you said-"

"Look, Kiyo's hurt by that Greaso guy."

"Oh my god. OO" I said, freezing stiff. I watch the battle while slowly eating butter popcorn, Mike crying because Shion was crying, obviously.

At the end of the episode, there was about 54 pieces of used tissue covering the couch and most of the floor. Mike finished wiping his tears and led me to a taxi waiting outside.

'I'm going to take you SHOPPING, Dara."

"You...are...a GOD." I said, jumping up onto his lap and giving him a hug. Mike gave me a wink and led me into the taxi, closing the door for me after I got in.

**"HOW DOES THAT JERK KNOW THAT SHOPPING TURNS EVERY GIRL ON?" Kiyo said, crossing his arms and giving me that 'demon Kiyo' look.**

"MIKE IS NOT A JERK, he's a kind person and I think I'm in love." I said to Kiyo, an evil smile creeping onto my face as I showed him a picture of Patie, one that I has printed from a website not too long ago.

**"SUIT YOURSELF, BUT DON'T COME CRYING TO ME LATER ON WHEN HE GETS EMO." Kiyo said, in annoyance. Also while looking away from the Patie picture, he rolled is eyes and started mocking Mike, with a hand gesture. "I'm so sad, nobody likes me, I'm an ugly freak...waaaaaah." **

"How would you know, you're not the damn Wizard of Oz." I yelled out loud, then noticed Mike staring at me. "Who are you talking to?"

"Uh...nobody."

**"Later, I have to go get my root canal." Kiyo said, fading from my mind as he spoke.**

I stood there thinking...I have a dentists's office in my head? Well, now's not the time to be worrying about that anyway. I'm on a date with the man of my dreams.

Mike shrugged and got in the Taxi as well. "To the mall!" he said as he slammed the taxi door. The driver grunted and put the car in gear, slamming his foot on the pedal and driving us to the mall.

(end Dara's pov.)

Dara dragged Mike to Macys, where she then dragged him inside and into Junior Girl's clothing section. "Okay...now, we're looking for clothes. You look at XOXO while I look in Baby Phat." Dara went off to a rack of clothing, leaving Mike behind, clueless and having no idea what to do.

"...what the fuck." Mike yelled after her, but it was too late. She had dissapeared into the horde of women scattered everywhere in the store. He looked around the racks of clothes, then he finally found one where two women we NOT fighting for a piece of clothing like homocidal maniacs, nor were there a lot of people from his school who would catch him looking at women's clothing.

Mike found a SHORT SHORT baby pink pair of sweat shorts, one which said 'Stinky Ass' on the seat part, in red bubble letters. He held onto the clothes hanger holding onto it while looking for a matching shirt.

He found a white spaghetti top that says 'Bad Girl' with a sexy-looking picture of a half-naked female(yes) devil, with a whip. He smiled happily and somewhat perversely.

"Oh, DARA..."

Dara popped out of nowhere, or, behind a rack of clothes that were 50 off. "Yes?"

"Try these on."

"The girl on the see-through shirt looks kinda like Kiyo...;3" she waved her hand at Mike, grabbing the clothes away from him and running towards the dressing room.

"Hey, Dara?"

Dara stooped at the dressing room door and turned around. "Yes?"

"Uh...put these on." he said, handing her a pair of bunny ears ( D)

---------

Dara then dragged Mike (she was wearing her new outfit. D bunny ears included) away from Macys and towards another group of stores at the mall.

A growl was heard while they were walking. "Mike...I'm hungry."

"Yes, I know Dara." he said, taking it the wrong way. He gave her a kiss on the neck.

"No, I'm hungry for...FOURTHMEAL. TO TACO BELL!" she smiled, Mike groaning. She then led him towards the food court, where they stopped at Taco Bell.

"Uh...get me a Chalupa Grande...hold the ranch. Mike wants a Chicken Quesadilla." Dara stated to the teenage cashier, his face covered in acne, also known as the pace of...puberty! D

The cashier typed on the cashier for a few seconds. "Uh...drink?"

"Diet Sprite."

"If you say so. That comes to a total of 12.95" he said, pushing a tray of food towards them

It's common courtesy for a man to pay a woman's order, so Mike paid.

Dara stared at the cashier.

"...do you know who this is?"

"Uh...no." the cashier replied in annoyance, taking an asthma inhaler and sucking some air out of it.

"Uh, SIR. THIS IS MIKE CADOGAN. You know...from the Royal Fami-"

Mike covered Dara's mouth quickly, making sure no one heard. "Dara, I don't want to attract fangirls."

"Oh. OK nevermind." Dara replied, smiling and leading Mike towards a booth. The cashier shrugged and rolled his eyes as the two sat at a booth. Dara opened up her taco wrapper, and was shocked to see what was inside.

Now, as you all know, there's nothing more evil than seing the evils of...dun dun dun, RANCH SAUCE. Yes, the guy put ranch sauce on the taco, even though Dara said not to. It happens. Anyway, I'm sure Dara will be a good sport and let it go...

"THAT BASTARD!"

...or not...

Dara stormed over to the cashier, more anger erupting from each step. " YOU ASSES PUT RANCH SAUCE ON MY TACO!"

"...look, m'am, I'll give you a new taco, just don't hurt me!"

"OK, get me a taco WITHOUT ranch sauce, asshole." Dara growled, watchign as the restaurant people rushed around in panic.

(a few seconds later)

"Ah, I'm done, Mike. That was good." Dara said, crumplign up her taco wrapper. Mike did the same.

"Uh...now where do we go?"

"...you pick."

"Hot Topic?"

"...nevermind."

Unfortunately for her, Mike was already in the store, buying FMA stuff. Dara stormed in after him, avoiding the people who looked tough and approaching the male, who was paying for a blue Alphone T-shirt. "MICHAEL YOU BAST-"

**"OH FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST!"**

"AGKH. Kiyo!" Dara yelled at him, twiching with anger.

**"Oh Dara, I thought you hated Hot Topic." Kiyo said, now wearing a FMA T-shirt identical to the Mike had brought.**

"I do. But Mike wanted me to go in, so I went in after him."

**"YOU GO GIRL!" Kiyo shouted as he waved a fist in the air.**

Dara crossed her arms and tapped her foot like an angry woman. She dragged Mike outside of Hot Topic and into FYE. "Mike, we need to talk."

"Dara , what's wrong?" Mike said.

"Well, it's about the date."

"Damn you know...I'm not nearly as bad as my older brother. Jackass, because of him I don't have a Robo-dog...T.T"

_"Hey, Big Brother! Look at my new toy, Robo-dog!" 8-year-old-Mike smiled as he played with the controls, which made the metal dog move forward and backward._

_Mike's 16-year-old brother, Matt(not: not his real name...XX) got in his Silver Lexus and put it in drive. "Yes, that's very nice, Mike." he replied, not really caring. _

_Mike crossed his arms and started yelling. "ROBO-DOG IS MORE THAT VERY NICE! HE'S AUTOMATIC AND OBEYS TO ALMOST EVETYTHING I SAY, MATT! YOU THINK YOU'RE SO COOL, WITH YOUR SHINY CAR AND DRIVERS LICENSE, BUT I BET MY NEW FRIEND ROBO-DOG IS TWICE AS BETTER THAN YOU! HE'S WORTH MORE THAN YOU'LL EVER MAKE." _

_/crush/_

_"Not anymore." Matt grinned evilly as he reached the end of the driveway, Mike and his now-run-over Robo-dog in front of him._

_"ROBO-DOG! ;;"_

_5 seconds later..._

_"But MOOOMMMM, it WAS Matt!" Mike said, practically clawing his own eyes out. He glared at Matt, devil horns and a tail growing out of him. Demons and fire cackled behind him as well._

_"Sure he did, Matty's been talking about you and how much he loves you for two months, practically" Mrs. Cadogan looked at Matt, angel wings and halo showing, with a golden gate and clouds in the background. "Now, let me get my belt."_

"Yes, that was the day I got spanked and grounded for almost three months, but still!"

"Dara?"

"...I think we shoud see other people"

"oh FUCK." Mike groaned, while Dara sighed impatiently.

"Mike, I gotta go...my new boyfriend is picking me up oin 5 seconds."

"WHAT CAN HE POSSIBLY HAVE THAT THE ROYAL PRICE'S DESCENDANT DOESN'T HAVE?"

/crash/

The FYE customers stared as a man in a black motorcycle (with flames. 8D) crashed in through the wall. He was wearing a helmet and black leather. Mike's mouth dropped open as he dropped his Hot Topic bag, Dara climbing on the bike.

"Dara, what the fuck."

The man took off his helmet and appeared to be a raven-haired guy, his hair blowing in the wind and teeth sparkling as he smiled. Dara hugged his waist. "This is Chris, Mike."

"Yo."

"WHAT THE FUCK DARA, HE'S IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STORE ON A BIKE, AND HIS HAIR IS BLOWING IN THE WIND. D:"

"Would you like him better if his hair WASN'T blowing in the wind?" Dara asked, giving Chris a massage now.

"**GO DARA!" Kiyo said, giving her two thumbs up.**

"Slightly. T.T"

"Whatever." Dara said, wavign a hand towards Mike. Chris made his bike growl twice. "So...shall we go, my princess?" He asked, gining Dara a wink, an angry growl from Mike. The two sped off on the bike and onto the road, headign off towards who knows where.

"DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT." Mike was angry now. He then took a bade and held it towards his wrist, when he got an idea. A BRILLIANT idea, usually like in the Fairly Oddparents when the Tommy Turner(XD) gets a brilliant idea and makes a wish, but turns out horrible at the end...but that's another story.

"Hmm...this could work." he said, carefully thinking. It was then he went to an Online Cafe and logged into SPPF, an evil smirk on his face.


End file.
